It All Began With A Quote…

It all began with a quote.

John Shelby Spong made the comment the other day that “…the church is like a swimming pool. Most of the noise comes from the shallow end.”

The quote went up on the Christianity thread on Reddit and prompted some interesting discussions. Embedded in this discussion was one of the most hilarious responses I've read in a long time, and I had to share it with you.

[This quote] could make for a great SNL skit.

Cast Jesus from Big Labowski as the lifeguard on duty, Morgan Freeman as Big Labowski Jesus's dad who takes over when Jesus goes on break and some underrated actor as the Holy Spirit in a non-speaking role. He's the other lifeguard on duty who is just as important but no one pays much attention to him and he never gets a break.

A Joel Osteen impersonator takes guests admission fee. Rick Warren impersonator works the concession stand. He's only got five loaves of bread and a couple of fish to feed everyone.

A “witty” sign that gives the pool rules in parody of the Ten Commandments. Debate ensues as to if these rules are to be taking literally or if the rules were intended for last years visitors to the pool.

A handful of angry teens are scattered around the outside of the pool. Tapping away on the latest iDevice about how the pool doesn't exist. Not realizing that they are all within 50 feet of each other as they get carried away on /r/atheism.

The deep end is filled with people quoting Paul and C.S. Lewis. There are two exceptions- a Scotsman and an atheist saying, “I'll pretend that this hypothetical pool exists for the sake of discussion…”.

The jacuzzi is reserved for new members of the pool. Still in their honeymoon phase. Upon exit they're offered a towel and a choice between a bullhorn or a copy of Mere Christianity.

Old people play in sprinklers because, dammit, that's the way they've always done it.

Dana Carvey, as Church Lady, wandering around making sure no one touches “swimsuit areas”.

Two guys in the parking lot arguing as to whether the pool was built in 2008 or 1976.

Well, it's official. I have way too much time on my hands.

You can find the original thread here.

Image Credit: Jenny Downing