I am a ‘green’ person. No, I am not a martian, or envious, or in love with money (um… I’m a pastor and a student… what is this “money” you speak of?). I do not not wrestle with bouts of nausea, plants generally die when I try my hand at gardening, and I could really use some serious improvement in reducing my carbon footprint. I am none of these things… but green means ‘go’, and I never slow down. I am most assuredly a ‘green’ person.
As you might expect, then, I naturally gravitate towards the spiritual disciplines which require me to do something. Prayer? Love it. Worship? Epic. The study of scripture? Bring it on. Accountability and confession? I’m so there. And then, there’s solitude.
I hate solitude.
The immediate, pressing needs dissipate, and the mind suddenly discovers it has space to breathe.
Stillness is an art I have yet to master. When I attempt to isolate myself, lingering in prayer and basking in the Lord’s presence, I quickly discover that I can’t stay focused. My mind wanders, and prayers that begin with “Dear Heavenly Father…” end with “…I wonder what I will have for lunch?” Left to its own devices, my brain betrays me.
As it turns out, I am not alone, and this “betrayal” is actually a necessary part of the spiritual process. The Christian mystics identified a phenomenon that would later be labeled “the rush of a thousand voices.” As one settles into prayer and isolation, circumstances quiet. The immediate, pressing needs dissipate, and the mind suddenly discovers it has space to breathe. In that moment, all those thoughts, memories, struggles, and contemplations which have been pressed to the far corners of the psyche come rushing forward in one chaotic stampede. In the midst of this, those sins which we have justified become exposed, those crises which have burdened us settle their weight back onto our shoulders, and those decisions we have been putting off suddenly burst into immediacy. The rush is uncomfortable. However, before one can truly practice stillness, there must come a purging married to prayer.
We discover this same marriage in Jesus, the dual combination of solitude and prayer. He went off by Himself to pray before calling His disciples (Luke 6:12-13), before going to the cross (Matthew 26:36-39), after experiencing a great success (Matthew 14), and even after receiving tragic news (Matthew 14:13). Jesus dealt with every major decision or emotional experience through prayer connected to solitude.
Solitude releases the rush of a thousand voices, but prayer quiets them with a still, small whisper.
The truth is, if solitude exposes our innermost struggles, prayer helps us to process them. Those sins we wrestle with are confessed in prayer. Those burdens are surrendered to God through prayer. Those decisions discover guidance in the midst of prayer. Solitude releases the rush of a thousand voices, but prayer quiets them with a still, small whisper.
I may be a green person, but I am slowly learning to breathe.
How about you? Have you ever experienced the “rush of a thousand voices”?
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Chris Jordan March 17, 2012 at 10:24 am
Thanks for the great post. I can definitely relate to the ‘rush of a thousand voices’ and always find it a fight to maintain the disciplines of silence and solitude. Like you, I too am a ‘green’ person – always on the go, and busy, busy, busy doing the Lord’s work. Too many times the gentle voice of the Holy Spirit has reminded me of the story of Mary and Martha, and encouraged me to put off serving and just sit at His feet. And when I do respond, I always find that I am rewarded. Blessings to you today!
T. E. Hanna March 17, 2012 at 11:47 pm
In ministry, balance has always been a struggle for me. One thing that helped me tremendously was when I suddenly realized that my greatest teaching ministry is the way I live my life. If I want my congregation to learn about leading lives of balance, I have to lead a balanced life. This changes the way I perceive servanthood in ministry… because now, saying ‘no’ to something is as equally a part of ministry as saying yes.
I now have a clear boundary with my congregation – Fridays are my day with my wife. Unless it is an emergency (by my standards, not theirs) I am unavailable. I don’t answer my cell phone, though I do check messages and determine whether I need to respond to that immediately. If not, I call them back on Saturday. I’ve found this not only allows my life to be better balanced, it frees up my congregants to lead balanced lives as well.
Chris Jordan March 18, 2012 at 9:45 am
For the first 14 years of ministry when I was a youth pastor / Christian educator director, I never really took a day off. I taught in our Christian school and Bible College, but never really obeyed & honored the Lord by keeping a Sabbath. However, after accepting the ministry call to move to a new church and become a lead pastor, I have set aside Monday as my day off, and really do take a day off. My church congregation respects that, too, and very seldom will I even get a phone call on Monday. Thanks again for sharing your post, T.E…
Michael Ford II March 19, 2012 at 8:48 am
Wow. I love this comment almost as much as I love the post! You are an excellent writer, and you are speaking from a place that I have found myself in recently; trying to find balance. I believe it is essential to a person’s sanity and well-being. Hopefully I can get there, and also get to a position where I no longer feel guilty about pursuing it.
Rick Alvey March 19, 2012 at 11:13 am
Great blog post and great dialogue! Peter Scazzero’s “Emotionally Healthy Church” and “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality” are good reads, in this arena. Along with great insight he offers a strong challenge for Evangelicals to rediscover the ancient spiritual habits like solitude.Thanks guys!
tommuellerbooks March 17, 2012 at 11:02 am
I really appreciated your post this morning. “Rush of a thousand voice,” was a great way of putting it.” most people I know have difficulty with solitude, including myself. If it isn’t all our gadgets screaming in our ears, then it’s those voices in our heads that keep preoccupied. But as you say, prayer silences them all. Good stuff.
Alex March 17, 2012 at 10:37 am
Great post! I have often felt the same way. My mind tends to wander a lot hah!
Clint Lewey March 17, 2012 at 2:09 pm
What a wonderful thought! God can speak through the great signs and wonders, but He often speaks in moments of stillness. I cannot help but think of Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God.
Shirley Anne March 17, 2012 at 1:38 pm
I have to admit to having been there. My tee shirt says so! Seriously though I have found that meditating on and focussing on God more before attempting to enter into prayer especially helps. Sometimes we are so pushed in our lives we tend to rush into prayer too quickly. Perhaps putting prayer at the back of the queue when we come to God will help us get into the right frame of mind to concentrate when we do pray. Lovers often do not talk together at first, preferring just to savour the moment together in silence.
Shirley Anne xxx
T. E. Hanna March 17, 2012 at 11:39 pm
My wife might beg to differ; she can’t ever get me to shut up!
In all seriousness, though, I think you’re on to something here. Prayer moves us into this conversational stream which originates in the heart of God, flows through us, and returns to Him. Prayer allows us to step into that river, and just soak in it. When we mitigate prayer to a laundry list of requests and affirmations, we cut God short. God loves to be intimately involved in the details of our lives, but I think He bears an even greater longing to be intimately involved in our hearts. That means prayer needs to move from a list of demands, to a lingering conversation. That only happens when we learn to listen… a lesson I am still learning.
rjdawarrior March 17, 2012 at 4:41 pm
I found your post to be in great taste, and humbling.
Very refreashing and sincere, I have grown weary of all the ungodly post from people posting sinful making comments about Jehovah Witneses! I would never follow any of them. They speak with earthly hearts. Even though they claim to love God and be Christians. I would run faster from them then any JW.
Maybe if they learned to be still, and learned self control. The knack to listen to God in whole they would learn the true meaning of Vanity, and find Gods love rather then their then own self righteousness.
I love spending all my time with God! I find it harder to be around people!
By the way what did you and God have for lunch? ;D
Keep writing I can see and hear your heart, it is plesant to both mine and Gods ears.
rjdawarrior March 17, 2012 at 4:51 pm
Reblogged this on RJ Da Warrior's Blog.
T. E. Hanna March 17, 2012 at 11:40 pm
Thank you!
dchristopherspears March 17, 2012 at 5:41 pm
This was an eye opening read for me. It is always a great thing to learn new things about myself even at my age. Thank you for this enlightenment. I have shared this article with my Facebook friends. I think we all need some of this.
Stephanie Streim (@alwayzHis) March 17, 2012 at 6:58 pm
Oh yes, yes, yes! This post is subtle, yet very “out loud” heart warming! Thank you…as we continue to grow in grace, it thrills me when someone can bless others with words. Thank you for stopping by my blog as well!
Blessings in Jesus,
~Streim~ learning2bestill
mgsong March 17, 2012 at 7:27 pm
Wow, this is so encouraging. Thanks for sharing the truth with the Body of Christ. I thought I was the only one who, when I sit down to pray, thousands roar! Stuff I couldn’t remember to do two days ago comes up brilliantly and with pomposity to demand immediate attention. So then I write it down so that I won’t FORGE again. And thirty other things come up. So I see that many people of God Do have a struggle with the contemplative life.
I also like what Shirley Anne suggested, that we just sit and think about God and His greatness before we present our laundry list of various and sundry requests.
The Spirit knows what is on our hearts and He will aid us if we will only ask as we make our requests known to God.
momentumofjoy March 17, 2012 at 11:23 pm
I adore the way you write. Faith and fun – that’s all you! Another wonderful post.
T. E. Hanna March 17, 2012 at 11:26 pm
Thank you! That’s really meaningful to me, I appreciate it.
I’m glad you are enjoying it!
reverendhellfire March 18, 2012 at 4:28 am
“The rush of a thousand voices” is recognised as a phase you go through during yoga meditational techniques as the mind struggles to focus on one thought.
Auditory hallucinations are not unheard of. (forgive the pun)
Pastor Nick March 18, 2012 at 7:56 am
Thanks for visiting my site, because it gave me a chance to see yours. Great article. A number of years ago, I felt the Lord calling me to walk sections of the Appalachian Trail to get away and pray in the solitude of the wilderness. I had no idea what God was getting me into. It took me almost two years of hiking the trail to be able to deal with the “rush of a thousand voices.” But now I see that these wilderness times are some of the most powerful prayer experiences that I have ever had. Thanks for your encouraging post.
Bushlings March 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm
Excellent post! And I couldn’t have found it at a more appropriate time. Just last night I wrote of my frustration with not being able to find joy in my solitude. I’m on vacation but the stillness is stifling and the longings and desires I usually distract myself from in busyness and business are flooding in like the rush of needles – a painful experience. Will employ your answer… still small voice of prayer hushing the rush.
T. E. Hanna March 18, 2012 at 2:21 pm
I don’t mean to say that prayer ends the rush… The rush itself is important, as it brings to the surface all those things which we have stifled. Prayer becomes the arena within which we wrestle with what the rush brings forward. It is after the purging that the rush brings that we discover an inner stillness, and it is in that stillness we encounter the Whisper
Bushlings March 18, 2012 at 12:10 pm
Reblogged this on singlestreaming and commented:
It was as though God read my post last night and determined that an answer would be put in my way today. On solitude…
Dana March 18, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Oh, I am the exactly same way! So many voices in my head to wade through!
T. E. Hanna March 18, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Lol. Oh, I know you are a ‘green’, Dana. In fact, it was partly your post on the ‘in between times’ which prompted my reflection leading to this article.
Mitchell March 18, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Nice message. It is the time spent alone with God that raises the quality of our prayer, worship and reading of the Word. The problem many people have with intimacy (into me see) is they think God will be mad with or ashamed of them when they are exposed. But in reality, it is during this time we see just how loving God is. What is the height and depth?….(Ephesians 3:18-19)
Without sin there is no forgiveness. In order to experience the magnitude of His love we must first experience the magnitude of our sin. It is what makes us cry out for mercy. And that brings humility.
Until we can take Him at His word when He says that nothing can separate us from His love (Romans 8:38-39) and be willing to throw ourselves at the mercy of His court, we will never understand true grace and will always be enslaved by some measure works-based faith.
Blessings to you and yours.
jeanne March 18, 2012 at 6:55 pm
Great post…”Solitude releases the rush of a thousand voices, but prayer quiets them with a still, small whisper.” I am going to share this with my volunteer ministry teams.
kylebarton March 19, 2012 at 12:05 am
Very true. This is the only time we deal with the constant bombardment of life experiences and restore ourselves through our direct contact with God. This is especially true now that technology is becoming more and more entrenched in our lives. I think our society is forgetting what solitude means. We are constantly connected. Without these times I notice myself slowly withering. It is the life sap of the Christian life. Thanks for the reminder!
BTW, I recently reread The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence. He seems to have enlarged the sphere of his fellowship with God into all areas of his life so that there was no difference between set times of prayer and the clatter of his kitchen. It seems to me that the times of solitude bolster us and render extended supply throughout our day. ie although they begin as fixed points in time they extend like rays.
T. E. Hanna March 19, 2012 at 12:27 am
I may need to pick that book up. Thanks for the insight!
Chrystal March 19, 2012 at 4:08 pm
The Practice of the Presence of God is one of my fav books. I reread it quite often. Still haven’t quite mastered his principles but am progressing!
thoughtfulspirituality March 19, 2012 at 4:38 am
I liked this a lot. Have done quite a bit of reading in the mystics and found that I learned a lot–it is a great pity and loss that so many preachers put up “straw men” they call mystics and condemn them.
My favourite quote (and email tagline) is:
If you love truth, be a lover of silence. Silence, like the sunlight, will illuminate you in God and will deliver you from the phantoms of ignorance. Silence will unite you to God himself.
—Isaac of Nineveh
Still, it is not easy, as you point out!
The 1 Saved By Grace March 19, 2012 at 5:18 am
I have not mastered solitude either. It’s frustrating at times. But I’ll keep trying.
writingforjoy March 19, 2012 at 5:25 am
It simply amazes me how awesome our creator is to give us unique personalities. I am the opposite from green, I am most defiantly a RED! Stop! Be still! I have not completely thought about it all until this moment but I think just as you need to be aware that stopping is good, I need to be aware that GOING is good as well. I need to take those steps to take action and minister/be ministered to, beyond my ‘natural’ instinct. Blessings to you and thank you for sharing!
1created2evangelize March 19, 2012 at 12:37 pm
I rather enjoyed this post because I am minister of varied graces also and a student of the word. I have been rebuilding my “prayer alter” it has been one of the most difficult processes I have attempted in my walk but the rush of the voices have definitely heard and heard the confusion from it and stood on psalms 71:1 God speaks in a still quiet voice that is just under those voices and he says Son and that’s when the voice quiet. I know in the great discipline of silence in prayer and meditation on his word the deliverance form such things is anointing. I pray and thank you for this post
Be Blessed
~Carl~
luxeternele March 19, 2012 at 1:14 pm
Reblogged this on luxeternele and commented:
brilliant, love this.
Kim March 19, 2012 at 1:47 pm
I was a total, 100% green, but 2 1/2 years of illness and time mostly spent in bed has made me totally appreciate the importance of rest, solitude, and being in God’s presence. The good thing is that the more you practice coming into His presence in solitude to spend time with and hear from Him, the less the “thousand voices” even bother to try to speak. Now I’m a balanced “brown” – a combination of “green” and “red” (smile!) – and it feels good……….Kim
T. E. Hanna March 19, 2012 at 1:53 pm
It is amazing how god even uses the dark times in our lives to draw us deeper. Thank you for sharing your experiences!
Chrystal March 19, 2012 at 4:11 pm
This is why I have Middle-of-the-night-moments and what I call Shower Revelations from God. I am quieted, open & vulnerable, and He knows I can hear Him better.
Constance V. Walden March 19, 2012 at 7:01 pm
Thank you for sharing your love for Jesus. I love Him, too. He is the center of my world. Without Him, I couldn’t breathe. Connie
http://7thandvine.wordpress.com/
Darryl Schoeman March 20, 2012 at 8:04 am
Congrats on getting featured today under the Wordpress topic/tag Christianity. God bless. Darryl.
T. E. Hanna March 20, 2012 at 9:15 am
Oh wow! I had no idea! Thanks for letting me know!
Darryl Schoeman March 20, 2012 at 9:22 am
mizzblonde09 March 20, 2012 at 11:21 am
I tend to journal when I pray. It helps keep me focused. Thanks for the great blog! It was encouraging to read!
Anna
T. E. Hanna March 20, 2012 at 12:39 pm
Probably the most insightful season of prayer in my life was when I used to journal. My prayers would often become letters to God, and months or years later I would read back through these letters, only to discover the myriad of ways God had responded to prayers which I had forgotten even uttering. I am convinced that if you ever want proof that God is real, keep a prayer journal. Thank you for sharing!
Edith March 20, 2012 at 12:33 pm
Thanks for the encouragement and reminder. I’ve learned in the past year to slow down A LOT… It wasn’t until I began to practice being still in the presence of God (Psalm 46:10) that I began to truly feel and hear God’s heart – and that impacts every inch of my being.
Invisible Mikey March 20, 2012 at 4:35 pm
Oh yeah, I’ve always had a low boredom threshold. It’s why if a sermon goes on too long, I fall asleep. Good topic. I try to remind myself that God is patient and polite, and will wait while I am busy running my mouth (or my mind) until I cease, before speaking to me.
I don’t know if you would find this useful, but I learned how to be more comfortable with stillness, solitude and quiet by attending silent retreats of at least two days duration. No talking, no electronic media, just work, walks and reading, with live, meditative music played during the group meals. I also think this is a harder skill for men to master. Nurses and nuns seem to be better at it in general.
godschick March 20, 2012 at 6:13 pm
Yes! I am a pastor’s wife and I can so relate to your post. Great post and so well written too! Blessings!
Wayne March 21, 2012 at 1:25 am
T. E.,
The best thing I ever found to still the thousand voices was to pray without ceasing.
But, on the other thing the mystics wrote about, “Dark Night of the Soul.” I never mastered it, it mastered me.
Now, I just hide from it.
God bless!
Wayne
T. E. Hanna March 21, 2012 at 10:46 am
It was actually St John of the Cross who turned me on to the mystics. I was going through my Dark Night, and didn’t understand it. In a conversation with Dr Mike Rakes during a course I audited at Southeastern, he connected me to St John. That treatise on the Dark Night of the Soul was pivotal for me.
Wayne March 21, 2012 at 3:48 pm
The Dark Night was pivotal for me, I was never able to connect to what John of the Cross wrote. It was a little too poetic for my real world misery.
Keep and spread the Faith brother!
Wayne
Olu Jordan March 21, 2012 at 6:06 am
Thanks for sharing this timely message in a simple, yet convicting tone.
As a pastor, many times, I have been too ‘zealous’ for the Lord; working for the king, yet neglecting his needs. Running around when he wants me to stay by him. Busy but guilty, huh? My ‘day off’ is Thursdays, but just in the name, the act remains the same. Disicipline! Discipline!! Disicipline!!! How many times would i seek deliverance from the spirit of Martha!
Jonathan Luehrs March 21, 2012 at 6:17 pm
I can totally agree with seclusion and prayer. For me, it is imperative to be in solitary along with prayer to hear God’s voice which most times seems like a whisper.
Great writing.
jitterybadger March 22, 2012 at 11:53 pm
Thanks for this. I have recently been experimenting with meditation and solitude, and I see where you are coming from.
bradunleashed March 23, 2012 at 7:28 am
The apostle Paul spoke of quenching “the fiery darts” of the enemy. I think one of the darts he shoots at us says, “think about this.” then when we are thinking about that, he shoots another saying, Look at you thinking about tha. Thought you were praying?”
chasingafterjesus March 24, 2012 at 1:54 am
I can definitely identify; often, when I go to pray, I think of the laundry that needs doing, or the food that needs cooking, or the bathrooms that need cleaning, or the lessons that need planning, or – you get the picture.
One tip that I heard from a preacher a while back is to have a notebook and pen to write down those thoughts of things to accomplish. You write the thought, put the notebook aside, and get back to prayer. Pretty soon, distractions will have no hold on you, and you can focus on prayer, knowing that the list is there for you to take care of when you’re finished.
When it’s things more intangible that bombard your thoughts during quiet time with God, praising Him helps me. Makes me focus on Him, and Him alone. And, I love the times spent with God, just basking in Him. The most wonderful part, I think, is that God Himself loves spending time with us, too!
T. E. Hanna March 24, 2012 at 8:12 am
Well said. The notebook is a huge tool; it helps get those distractions down and out of the way. The most important part of the ‘rush of a thousand voices’, however, is found in those things which the mind bring forward which are still unresolved internally. Unresolved sin, guilt, shame, fear, anger, or any other variant of inner strife which we tend to bury. These things create hidden barriers between us and God, and the ‘rush’ exposes them so that prayer can become the arena where address and wrestle through them.
chasingafterjesus March 24, 2012 at 12:17 pm
That’s very true. Unfortunately, we do tend to focus on these things, or at least I have a tendency to focus on these things, instead of conversation with God. I’ve found – and this works for me, but may not work for others – that the way to keep from giving into the “rush,” from focusing on it alone, is to acknowledge and discuss the “voices” with God. I will sit there and talk with Him about why I thought this, or why I did that. Fairly quickly, I will see the faulty, human reasoning behind that sin, fear, anger, what have you, and be able to confess them to God, repent, and ask/receive forgiveness. As my own relationship with God gets deeper, I find myself convicted through seemingly mundane things; thus, I am learning to constantly “check” myself and my actions, to prevent the rush from overwhelming me later. “WWJD?” It still has it’s place, cliche though it may have become.
Emi April 6, 2012 at 12:58 am
This is seriously exactly what I needed to hear – that it’s normal to have a million thoughts come at me at once when I get into a quiet place to pray! I’ve genuinely always thought it was just me or that I was doing something wrong! It’s such a struggle to not think about them! Sometimes it makes me wonder if I have ADD or something because it can get so crazy – which is when I usually start talking to God. It helps me focus on Him instead of the mundane things consuming me.
I prefer to be alone when I pray so that whatever emotions come to the surface I don’t have to hold them in during church – if I want to cry, I cry or sing, I’ll sing (which would probably make the people around me cry in church!)
Great writing and an awesome post! Thanks
jesuswithoutbaggage April 17, 2013 at 10:55 am
Thanks for the reminder! I remember when I was very disciplined in regard to times of solitude. They were so very good experiences. However, as life begins to crowd time such intense times of solitude become a memory. But now you have reminded me and I will carve out those times again.
Thanks for the reminder!
Stefan Misaras April 17, 2013 at 4:54 pm
Brother, I think we all face the same difficulty, and it may be that as long as we are here on earth in the flesh we will continually be distracted – especially as we come to spend time with the Lord.
One thing that really helped me to calm down my being and really set my mind on the spirit, on the Lord, is calling on the name of the Lord. Simply calling on His name, “Oh Lord Jesus…. Lord Jesus….” – this stops the many voices in my mind, the many “do this and that”, and it quiets my soul… – while at the same time I am filled with the Lord’s presence.
The word in Joel and Romans is fulfilled in this case – whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. SAVED from my self, from the environment, from the frustrations… and saved much more in His life (Rom. 5:17).
joy April 25, 2013 at 11:56 am
I love being in God’s presence too:) hearing from him are the best moments in my life:)